Liars' Patron
by Convenient Alias
Summary: Loki takes his job as god of liars a little more seriously, and pays a little more attention to his followers (read: liars) on Midgard. Natasha, liar extraordinaire, catches his eye, and before he knows it he's playing patron god to her constantly. How will that affect Natasha, and how will it affect Loki himself?
1. Chapter 1

She's only twelve years old and she's going to die today. The thought scares her less than it probably should. Her life has never been such a valuable commodity. She's only a weapon, and weapons don't need self preservation, after all.

She's really just annoyed that it has to be like this that she dies. If she had been shot in the heart, she would have died quickly. If she had been shot in the head, even more so. Instead, they shot her in the stomach and she's left here bleeding out slowly on the floor, unable to crawl away because she feels so weak, dying by inches. "Just let it end," she moans quietly.

"Well, really," says a voice over her. "Liars rarely die painlessly. You see, they make people far too mad. People really hate being tricked, you know."

The girl looks up to see a man looking down. Their eyes meet, and his eyes are glinting green, calling all her attention even as she dies.

"Will you end it?" she whispers.

"The pain?" The man seems amused. "Why should I? You're the one who messed up, got caught. You have to deal with consequences."

"So I was stupid," she growls. "I'll do better next time." There will be no next time, but it's too automatic to say the words, and she can't take them back. She waits for the man to mock her.

Instead, he smiles and says, "Yes. You will."

He bends down and touches her stomach directly on the wound. She cringes, expecting her pain to increase tenfold. Instead, his hands feel cool and soothing, the pain fading away. She gasps a little as he takes his hands away, leaving her feeling perfectly fine.

"Well?" The man says impatiently. "Just a gasp? I heal you when you're approximately ten minutes from death and all I get is a gasp?"

"Who are you?" she asks as she slowly sits up. "What are you? How did you do that?"

"My name is Loki," he says with a smile.

"I'm Natalia," she says, because it seems like good manners to introduce yourself to the man who just brought you back from the brink of death.

"Call yourself Natasha," he orders her. "It sounds better."

She's a bit startled that she feels like she should obey his orders, just like that. Then again the man did just heal her wounds with his touch. She owes him, she supposes.

"Do I serve you now?" she asks cautiously.

He laughs. "Oh, Natasha. You are really very cute when you're puzzled. It doesn't happen often, does it?" He pulls her gently to her feet. "You already serve me, child. Every time you play a trick, every time you deceive someone, every time you tell a lie. You practically serve me just by existing. All tricksters are mine. And you are a rather good one, for your age, which is why you aren't going to die today."

"Oh," she murmurs, feeling her stomach. Her shirt is still wet with blood, but she doesn't hurt and there's no bullet wound.

Loki hands her a bullet covered in blood. "Here. A keepsake to remember me by."

"Thank you."

She's in shock, she supposes. She should have more questions, she should be figuring out what to do but she can't help but stare, fascinated, at the beautiful man standing in front of her and wonder what exactly he is. She almost forgets to pocket the bullet, but she does. It would be rude not to accept a gift, however morbid, from her rescuer. So she puts it in her pocket a bit dazedly, and gives Loki a small, confused smile.

"We'll meet again," he says.

And then he vanishes.

She doesn't feel that surprised, really. She doesn't have time to. She needs to get back to her superiors and tell them how messed up the mission is now, and she needs to have a look at that wound and see if it's really gone.

And then she's going to need to look up the name Loki.

/…/…/

You know your situation is desperate and a little ridiculous when the most plausible option you have is that the person who saved your life is the Norse god of liars and tricksters.

Natalia is in this situation.

Of course, chances are that he was just a man named after said Norse god. But what man could heal wounds with a touch and disappear into thin air? There is talk of such men, but Natalia has never really believed it, and such a coincidence would be too great.

It is frustrating for her. Few men have ever done as much for her as Loki. In fact few men have done very much for her at all, except for making her into a weapon. To know nothing of her savior, and be unable to thank him, irks her more than even the disappointment of failing her mission.

As the months pass by and she does not meet him again, she tries to forget him. But his green eyes still lurk, mockingly, at the corners of her mind.

/…/…/

When Loki returns to Asgard, only Thor has noticed he was ever gone. It's natural, of course. Loki, who knows the hidden passageways between worlds, is always coming and going. Still, he feels a bitter twinge of resentment when he thinks of all the feasts and jubilation that greet Thor when he returns from a journey. Thor is usually on a glorious quest when he leaves Asgard, so he supposes it makes sense.

Loki has saved a life, but that hardly constitutes a glorious quest. Particularly since the life was Midgardian, and since he saved it with healing skill, magic, cheating, instead of in honorable battle.

He had decided not to just kill the girl's assailants. He does not think she would appreciate that sort of help. Tricksters are self sufficient. They never will accept that they need help until they've already failed. That is why Loki has very little work to do, most of the time, since good liars rarely need his help and he isn't particularly interested in helping people who are bad at lying.

It's still more work than most of the Aesir do. Many of those who ever went down to Midgard and were hailed as gods are now dead, and the others have no interest in helping Midgardians anymore. After all, there are few left who pray to them for help (in the old days Heimdall used to keep them informed of what mortals asked for their prayers). And not many Aesir bothered to help the Midgardians even back when they did pray. For back then, there were many requests, not all of which they could answer.

Once upon a time, Loki and Thor would go to Midgard regularly together to see their Midgardian followers. They would help those whom they could, and tell stories of their adventures, most of which were far from the truth. For some reason, Thor denied that Loki was his brother and always made him out to be the villain. It was just teasing, but the Midgardians took it as absolute truth.

Of course, Thor had far more followers than Loki. He was a god of war, strength and thunder. Men always worshipped him for these traits.

Loki, on the other hand, had received little admiration and been named god of liars and tricksters. None but the dishonest would ask him for help, send prayers for his blessing. Yet he found he rather liked his clientele. They were rather more amusing than those honest ones who came to Thor.

Of course, they all died soon. Loki always grieved the death of his most clever followers, but they lived short lives. In that, he could not help them.

In time, Thor grew bored with visiting mortals and mostly went to other realms. He forgot about Midgard, where he was worshiped as a god, and sets off to explore other lands. Loki does not forget. He goes to Midgard less, and is choosier about who he will reveal his existence to, but he never entirely stops.

Thor thinks him a fool, pursuing an adventure that ended long ago.

He says as much today, telling Loki that in the month he has been absent, Thor has gone on a new adventure with Sif and Fandral and Hogun and Volstagg.

"And was your quest successful?" Loki asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course it was successful!" Thor laughs. "My brother, have you ever known me to fail? Granted, it took some time. We were in a land hostile in its very nature, blinding sands and searing heat, and traveling was greater difficulty than fighting."

He regales Loki with a tale of challenging the champion of a certain city to battle, and the ease with which he won. Loki is hardly surprised, but he acts impressed. Thor is pleased enough at his audience to ask, when he is done, what Loki has been up to.

"I have found a new follower," Loki informs him. It took him the whole month. It is so hard to find truly clever and dangerous liars these days, liars who would be willing and worthy to take him as a patron. He is unsure of whether even the girl he had finally found would be willing. He is sure that she is worthy, though, as he followed her around for a few days before he showed himself to her, ascertaining her skill.

Thor grins and congratulates him and asks him no more, uninterested in such a plebeian feat when he has spent his month conquering warriors and traversing strange realms. Loki sighs and they talk about other matters. Of Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg's health. Of Lady Sif's health…and of her beauty.

For some reason Thor is quite determined that Loki should court the Lady Sif. Loki knows, however, that the lady prefers Thor to him, and so he has resolved to never do so.

Indeed, he quite intends to avoid the Lady Sif. But in the end he cannot help but speak with her, for at that night's banquet she seeks him out.

"Thor says you have spent these weeks in Midgard," she says as a greeting.

Loki greets her rather more formally. "Salutations, my fair lady. I have indeed been in that realm, though I am surprised my brother has remembered it, or that you thought to ask."

"I did not," the lady says haughtily. "He told me of his own accord."

"Ah," says Loki with a rueful grin. "Then that would explain it. I have heard that you have been adventuring, my lady. Have your adventures been fruitful?"

"I have no doubt Thor has told you all about them," Sif says sourly. "Tell me of yours."

"I searched many long hours in Midgard for a mortal worthy of my patronage. There were many liars and I helped them as I could, but most were pitiful and petty. The only one of worth was a twelve year old girl who has been trained in espionage. I intended to keep my presence secret for longer, but in the end I had to step in for her life was in danger."

"You saved her?" Sif says curiously, almost disbelieving. "Thor did not mention any battles."

"What battle there was she fought herself and lost. They have machines that spit bullets-less than our technology but greater than some. A bullet pierced her stomach. I waited for her assailants to leave and then healed her wound."

"Oh," Sif says with some disgust that she does not try to hide. "Magic. And why did you not step in earlier?"

"She would have seen it as interference. From what I could see she was an independent type," Loki explains. It was a delicate job. Help her too much and it would appear he disrespects her skills. Help her too little and she would be dead.

Sif snorts. "You would find any excuse for your cowardice."

Loki smiles sweetly and pins down his ire. "I am sorry the way I saved my follower's life does not please my lady. Would you prefer I act more as Thor?"

"You might learn a lesson or two from him," she says severely.

Loki does not tell her that he considers Thor to be rash, immature, uncouth and lacking in wit. Far be it from him to insult the court's favorite, the heir of his father, his elder brother. Instead, he says that he agrees with her and changes the subject. They speak of the quality of the food, a harmless subject, until Fandral comes to spirit her away. Fandral does not approve of him. Very few at court really do.

Loki spends the rest of the evening flitting from one conversation to the next. There are so many lies, venomous lies, floating in the air that he cannot even keep track of them all. But they serve no goal but to make the teller look good and the listener look bad. It is all very dull. A good lie is told for a reason. A good lie is part of a greater deception, involving acting and planning and extensive research. These lies are petty, just bee stings when they could be the bite of a cobra. They vex him.

He cannot help but remember why he prefers Midgard. There is so much more action there, so much more excitement. The ultimate exhilaration is to mess with the mortals' plans, spread lies further and further and watch excellent schemes come into fruition.

Alas, he will not be able to go to his favorite realm for some time, for Thor tells him that he will be needed on Thor's next adventure. He thinks it will probably be a bore but does not say so. He does like to please his brother, and perhaps if he goes there will be less chance of them all getting killed, so he consents.

/…/…/

Natasha does not see Loki again for two years. She is fourteen now, and she has just killed a man. Now she is staying in a hotel, waiting for further orders, where she must strike next.

When she hears someone behind her say hello, she has a gun pointed at his face in seconds.

"Natasha," scolds the man with green eyes, looking down at her reproachfully. "Is that any way to greet your patron?"

She knows it is him for three reasons.

The first is that he looks exactly as she remembers. But that could have been someone in disguise. Just a bare possibility. Alternatively, she could be under the influence of some drug to make her see someone she trusts. She hates to admit it but there are few people she trusts in this world, and she trusts Loki more than most.

The second is that he calls himself her patron. If he really is the Loki from Norse mythology, then that would make him the patron god of liars and tricksters, making him her patron as well. She thinks he mentioned it at their first meeting, though she is not sure. She has obsessed over that first meeting enough to jumble it a bit in her head.

The third is that he called her Natasha.

Natasha calls herself Natasha now, has felt a strange compulsion to ever since he saved her life. But her superiors and the world at large still call her Natalia. She never told anyone about changing her name. For some reason, the name Natasha seems like a private thing to her. Maybe she'll tell someone she truly trusts one day. Until then, she is Natalia to everyone except herself and this one man.

She finds she has already lowered the gun on instinct. She puts it down on her bed to show just how little she is inclined to shoot him. She thinks perhaps he could kill her even more easily than she could kill him, so it is important that he knows she does not plan on attacking.

"Good girl," Loki says. "You've grown since I saw you last."

She nods. "Are you a god?"

Loki smirks and sits down on the bed, pushing the gun aside to make room. "That's a rather forward question, don't you think? Still, you are my follower, so I will answer it. The answer is: in a way."

Natasha narrows her eyes as she sits down next to him.

Loki makes her wait a minute, seeing if she'll be rude enough to interrupt, then continues. "In the old days, I was indeed known as a god, and I believe mythology names me as such today. In truth I am an Aesir. I do not consider myself a god, but I am far nearer that state than a mortal such as you."

He goes on to tell her many things. He talks about realms and other Aesirs and monsters and liars. He talks for a long time about liars, and how to tell good lies and not get caught.

"I know how to lie," Natasha says.

"Yes," says Loki. "Indeed, I think you would be the perfect trickster except for one thing."

It is clear he wants her to ask what that one thing is. She hates being forced to say what he wants her to, but he did save her life and she sort of thinks that he wants her to serve him, be his follower. She sort of thinks she would like that. So she says, "What is that one thing?"

"You're a servant," Loki says bluntly.

Natasha raises her eyebrows with puzzlement. As far as she can tell, he wants her to be subservient to him. Is she doing something wrong? "Don't you want me to serve you?"

Loki looks surprised, and then smirks. "I was not speaking of myself. You serve me best, girl, by spreading chaos, lies and mischief throughout the world. That you would do of your own accord, and it is no inconvenience to you. No, I spoke of your current masters."

Her service to the Russian government. She had not thought Loki the type to care about such things. "If you want, I will abandon it and follow you."

"You would betray your country for me?" Loki says in surprise.

"You saved my life. They did not." And he seems wiser than them too, a master she would love to serve.

"Ah. Loyalty. Few of my followers have it," Loki sighs. "You please me, Natasha. But I do not wish for you to serve me so directly, for I am no master of yours. I am merely your patron, and I serve you farther than you serve me."

"That's a little strange," Natasha says with a frown. Surely it should be the other way around.

"Perhaps. My brother thinks so. But it is no matter. I am concerned because in all your actions you serve Russia. A true trickster has a mind of her own."

She grits her teeth. "What, you want me to quit then?" To do such a thing would be close to impossible. She would most likely be killed.

"No," says the green eyed Aesir. "I want you to discover what you want to do and do it. Use every tool in your book: lies, manipulation, murder, but find a goal you want to reach. And reach it."

Natasha narrows her eyes again. Then she laughs outright. "You sound like you're giving a pep talk."

"How bizarre," Loki says with a short laugh. "Usually that's Thor's job."

They talk a little longer, and he tells her tales of ancient deception, and she tells him tales of recent missions (all successfully completed) and when her phone rings, she feels annoyed at the interruption.

"Yes?" she says, picking it up.

"Agent Romanoff, you are to return to base immediately. Another agent will be taking over your operation. There is a new mission waiting for you."

"Fine." She hangs up. Normally she'd be more polite, ask a few more questions for clarification, wait to be dismissed, but her patron god's in the room and she has no time for protocol.

She turns back to tell Loki of the summons and ask if he wishes her to follow it or quit the organization like he'd mentioned earlier, but when she looks he is gone.

This time she is a little more coherent than when last they met, so she checks the door and windows and they are locked. Nor is he hiding in the hotel room, she concludes after a brief but thorough search.

She wishes he had stayed to talk and wonders when she'll meet him again.

/…/…/

"Brother," says Thor, as is customary. "Where have you been?"

"Midgard," says Loki. Though he was only gone four days this time, and two were just for travel.

"You are always going to Midgard," Thor complains. "You were there only two years ago, for a whole month, and now you have gone again. I swear, someday you shall try to move to Midgard permanently. You are in love with that pitiful realm."

"Hmm…" says Loki. "Perhaps that would be a good idea indeed."

"What?" Thor asks warily. He knows that his brother rarely compliments his ideas. He calls them idiotic more often, and even when they succeed on the battlefield, Loki will always say he could have done better.

"Moving to Midgard," Loki says with a sly smile. "After all, court is dreadfully boring. And I would not have to face Sif."

Thor growls in his throat. "If you try to leave me I will drag you back."

"Of course," says Loki in a tone that says Thor may try yet Loki doubts he will succeed. Thor growls again and they talk of other matters. Thor has been training much as of late. He will be crowned king in about a decade, and he must be prepared.

Loki does not think Thor will be prepared in a decade or even in a century, but he keeps his thoughts to himself.

/…/…/

Natasha sees Loki often after that. Sometimes he'll appear when she is at a crowded bar or a busy street, finding her in the middle of a crowd with ease. Sometimes he'll interrupt her in a mission, and sometimes he'll kill her target or enemy for her and make her mad (she doesn't need help!). Sometimes he stays for only a few minutes, sometimes for a few hours. And once in a while he'll haunt her for weeks. She can never predict when he'll appear or when he'll leave.

What she likes the best is when she is wounded or in trouble and he saves her. It doesn't happen often, only in truly desperate situations. When that happens, she feels a little embarrassed at needing the help, but also strong. Protected. Certainly her country, her government will not protect her, but her patron will and that is enough.

He's a gentleman and a tease, chivalrous and mocking, trustworthy but a liar. For she has learned from firsthand experience that he does lie. Not to her very often, but sometimes he'll claim that he won't come back until she is done with a mission and then come the minute the mission is over. His timing is so precise that she must suspect that he was watching her the whole time.

Under his guidance she becomes something more like her own woman, but she never breaks ties with Russia. Not until another assassin shows up, who goes by the name Hawkeye and shows sympathy to what her life is like. No one but Loki has ever understood before.

She switches from serving Russia to serving his organization, called SHIELD. She is surprised at how easy it is. She knew she had little attachment to her old masters, but never realized just how ready she was to desert them.

She should have known, of course. She's been ready ever since Loki suggested she was in the wrong place.

Hawkeye's name turns out to be Clint Barton and she is casual enough to call him Clint as soon as she learns this. He in turn calls her Natalia, which he supposes is her first name.

It's not his fault he thinks that. She has never told anyone otherwise. Loki knows, but only because he is the one who gave her name to her.

She tells him, "Call me Natasha."

He does. From then on she feels much more comfortable with him. They are ideal partners for each other, able to complement each others' abilities perfectly.

They have a friendship unlike any other she has known. He makes her feel vulnerable-and makes her like it. Sometimes they cross the line a little. Sometimes when the tension is high enough they find themselves in each others' arms. Sometimes she'll let her guard down enough to let him kiss her. When she kisses back, she doesn't do so in the seductive way she uses for missions but awkwardly, gently, well aware of how much she leaves herself open.

He doesn't know about Loki. Natasha is not surprised, since he is not a liar. He is a spy but he shoots arrows and watches people instead of deceiving them. He is not Loki's type.

Of course, just because he does not know Loki does not mean Loki does not know him. Loki visits Natasha one night and tells her that he is proud of her.

"You usually are," Natasha says. "Which mission is it this time?"

"No mission," says Loki. "I am proud that you have changed sides, Natasha. Finally you begin to understand the true nature of a trickster. I was worried at your being loyal to Russia all those years you know, but you have finally started to bloom."

Natasha glares at him. "If you think I'm going to start double-crossing everyone every time I have a chance now, you're wrong. I am loyal to SHIELD."

"Oh?" says Loki. "And why?"

"They're giving me a second chance," says Natasha. "I can wipe the red off my ledger and become a good person."

Loki smirks. "You see? You could care less about their ideology and you are not afraid of their threats. You serve them because you want to, because you like them."

From anyone but Loki, Natasha would see that as an insult. Even from Clint, a statement like that would be an insult. From Loki she takes it as a compliment. She knows he follows Thor in all his doings for the same reason, and helps her for that reason as well.

So she says, "I suppose you are right." Though she still wants to change. She wants to believe in the things SHIELD believes in-protecting the homeland, guarding the world against powerful threats. She just hasn't managed it yet.

Loki says, "I hear they call you the Black Widow now."

"A few do." It's a formidable name, but Natasha already has the only name she'll ever need. It's not Black Widow, and it's not Natalia either.

Loki smirks. "Aren't you a bit young for that name? Are you even planning on getting married?"

Natasha glares at him. She thought they were having a serious discussion, but no. Loki must always turn everything into a joke, a trick, a silver tongued prod to annoy her. She thinks nothing amuses him more than seeing other people annoyed.

"Perhaps to that man you are always with these days," Loki says smoothly, ignoring her glare. "I believe his name is Clint."

"Yes," says Natasha. "But you have no permission to use it."

"Oh, I'm sorry if I am too familiar. I will just call him hawk then," says Loki. "You do not deny your love for him."

Natasha raises an eyebrow. "Should I?" She did not know that Loki knew of Clint, but she is not ashamed of the relationship she has built up, nor does she feel the need to hide it.

"Yes," says Loki. "You should always lie, particularly about love."

"Even to you?" Natasha asks.

"Oh, Natasha," Loki sighs in amusement. "Especially to me."

/.../.../

/.../.../

AN: This is the beginning of a story I started writing quite a while. After some internal debate, I have decided to begin posting it, but I am not entirely sure I will ever finish it. As it is, I have only three chapters fully written, and I'm working on a couple other things at the moment so this is hardly my focus. But better this than nothing, right? Frankly, I think at least this chapter could stand alone as a oneshot.

More about content: This story is not Lokitasha. Lokitasha is a lovely pairing, but it's not happening here because he met her when she was twelve and I don't think it's going to work out. Other than that, any thoughts people? I love reviews, and I love suggestions for my stories.


	2. Chapter 2

One day Natasha and Clint are in a slightly worse situation than normal. A bounty's been put on their heads by a certain gang that they just barely escaped a few hours ago, and about half the city they're in would be willing to kill them to retrieve it. Their hideout is in a hotel room they haven't even paid for, where the real occupant will probably arrive in an hour or two and may very well be willing to kill them. He's a known contact of the gang. They probably should have found a better place to hide, but there's no need to get civilians involved in this if they don't have to.

All of these are factors they could probably deal with. After all, they are the best of the best. Natasha is more concerned about the shape Clint's in. He was tortured for information, and he's too weak to confront any attackers right now. Natasha knows that she isn't at her best either. She wasn't tortured but she hasn't eaten in twenty rigorous hours, and she has Clint to protect.

She has been in bad situations before, but never with Clint's life at stake. And Loki always showed up in the end.

This time, she's not so sure, so she does something she's never needed to do before. She stares up at the ceiling (Loki said that Heimdall could see everything, through miles of space, through walls and through dimensions) and she says, loud and clear but not loud enough to be heard outside the room, "Loki, help me."

"What?" says Clint. He's lying on the hotel bed so his body can recover slightly. He needs hospital care but they can't risk it. He hasn't realized yet just how hopeless the situation is, that Natasha doesn't have a plan. He's too dazed to think about it, and Natasha hasn't tried to rouse him.

Natasha looks at him with concern and says, "Go to sleep, Clint. It's been a long day." Then she looks back up at the ceiling and says. "Loki, help me. My teammate's in trouble too. He's not a liar but he's sly enough. And I am your follower, and I am asking for your help."

Clint frowns and forces himself to sit up. "Natasha, what are you doing? There's no one here but you and me."

"You could say I'm praying," Natasha says. "But that wouldn't really cover it. Loki, help me. Heimdall, send my plea to Loki. He will want to hear it, I swear. He will reward you for telling him. Tell him I need him. I need Loki. Send Loki to me. I need him now."

"Natasha, you're making me worried," says Clint. She's told him before that she's not really religious, and he apparently has remembered. He tries to stand up and can't manage it.

"Loki," whispers Natasha. "I need Loki. Loki, come. Please."

/…/…/

Loki is studying in his room when the knock comes. He is often studying, but not in the way of a student. He is a scholar, and he rereads texts again and again until he sees things in them that even the authors did not know they put in. This is how he learns the secrets of the universe. This is how he gains enough knowledge to pull off all his schemes.

He supposes it is Thor at the door. Hardly anyone else bothers to disturb him. Of course, it is possible that it is one of Thor's friends, come to pester him and pretend they are his friend as well. It is also possible that it is Odin or Frigga. They prefer to talk to him at dinner usually, or when he is with Thor, but occasionally they do bother to come down to his room.

He is most surprised when it is Heimdall. He did not know that the man ever left the bridge, and he has never expressed any liking for Loki. Admittedly they do talk sometimes, when Loki convinces Heimdall to tell him of happenings on Midgard, but that does not mean they are on good terms. Loki thinks Heimdall probably sees him mostly as an annoyance, and one does not seek out an annoyance on purpose.

Heimdall does not even step through the door. Instead, he just looks Loki in the eye and says, "One of your mortals is calling for you."

Loki stares at him. "What? Who?" Back in the old days, there were Midgardians who would call his name for aid, his most devoted followers. He does not think there is anyone who would do that these days.

"It is the woman with the red hair, the one you named Natasha," Heimdall answers gravely.

Loki's eyebrows furrow but he steps out the door to join Heimdall in the hall, shutting the door neatly behind him. "Natasha? She would never call for my help."

"I suspect she calls not on her own behalf," says Heimdall. "Her partner was injured. She knows you can heal him."

Loki frowns. "How presumptuous of her. The hawk is not one of my followers. Why should I help him?"

Heimdall frowns and starts to pull Loki down the hall. "If you do not help both of them, your follower will die. Her partner will be a weak spot and she will not desert him. I have seen their situation and it is grave." They come to a flight of stairs. Heimdall lets Loki go but stares at him. "It becomes you ill to turn down a request for your aid."

Loki glares at the giant. "I do not intend to. I merely think it is presumptuous of her."

"Of course," Heimdall agrees. Loki thinks the man is quite as good at acting as Loki is himself. He knows Heimdall does not believe Loki, yet he pretends he does so very well.

He sighs. He supposes he really must help Natasha, as she is his brightest follower. Besides, he is rather fond of her. The research he was doing on the weaknesses of Jotuns will have to wait until the crisis has been resolved.

He is a bit worried. From Heimdall's words it seems the situation is desperate. But it takes him a full day to reach Midgard if he travels along the branches of Yggdrasil, his typical route. If he hurries, he could reduce that time to about eight hours, but if he takes that long Natasha will still probably die.

He will simply have to take the more orthodox route. No matter how much it hurts his pride.

He turns to Heimdall. "I fear I must travel using the Bifrost," he says in a carefully neutral tone. "With your permission."

Loki knows that Heimdall does not like him. This cannot be stressed enough. A few decades ago one of his favorite followers had been part of a black equality movement, and Loki had put such a spell on Heimdall that his skin would be black for the next five centuries in order to show his approval. Ever since then Heimdall has refused Loki access to the Bifrost unless he is escorted by Thor, and has been his enemy in matters at court (although he seems to actually enjoy the color change. Particularly since it has given him a very nice beard).

But Heimdall does not comment on things past. He merely nods his head once and says, "Who am I to deny a man whose follower calls on him?" And Loki remembers that there was a time when Heimdall, too, had followers on Midgard, until his duties had prevented him from leaving Asgard anymore.

They run across the transparent bridge. Usually Loki would ride a horse at this point if he was with Thor, but he has never liked horses and he does not see the point of bringing one on this particular trip. Few mortals ride horses anymore, and Loki thoroughly approves.

Inside the Bifrost, he takes his position with his nerves on edge. Part of him suspects Heimdall will take this opportunity to send him flying off to Jotunheim, or Muspel, or somewhere even more unpleasant. He takes no pleasure in putting his life in the man's hands.

Heimdall pauses before activating the Bifrost. "By the way, the woman promised you would reward me for telling you of her plight."

He should have known. "What do you wish, Heimdall?" he says as pleasantly as he can.

"We will discuss that later," Heimdall says with a small yet terrifying smile. "I am sure I can come up with something…interesting."

"Oh, I do not doubt it," Loki says a little shakily.

Then, thank goodness, the Bifrost starts up and he has no more time to ponder what Heimdall may be scheming because lightning is crackling around his body and then, suddenly, he is hurtling through a dark and frighteningly empty sky.

He hates travelling by Bifrost.

He lands just outside a city. He can't tell what the country is, but from what Heimdall told him he knows Natasha is in a hotel somewhere inside the city, and besides, he can feel her. There is a pull in his chest whenever he is near one of his real followers, and he can feel it now. He can follow it, and find her, and that is enough.

/…/…/

Natasha has been talking at the ceiling for about an hour now and there has been no answer. Clint has given up on trying to stop her but from where he is lying on the bed he looks disturbed. Her throat is getting as sore as her feet (there was a fair amount of running involved in the escape earlier) and she is considering just giving up.

Then Loki appears right in front of her and says, "Why did you tell Heimdall I would reward him?"

Her eyes widen and it's an effort not to gasp or gape, but after years of seeing Loki appear at random times she can manage. Clint, who has no such experience with Loki, lets out a shriek.

"Silence your hawk," Loki says. "Really, why did you tell Heimdall that? Now the man will expect a favor from me, and it will probably be difficult. You could have said you would reward him yourself."

"Well," says Natasha. "Ah. I've never been to Asgard."

Loki shrugs and turns to Clint. "How did he get so banged up?"

"Who are you?" Clint manages to sputter through obvious shock.

Loki, always willing to introduce himself, sweeps an elegant bow and says, "I am Loki. How did you damage yourself so badly? I know you aren't as clever as Natasha but I did not think you quite this foolish."

"He was tortured for information," Natasha cuts in sharply. She does not like how Loki looks down on Clint. Of course, Loki looks down on everyone including his fellow Asgardians and Natasha herself, but with Clint it is particularly pronounced.

"And he said nothing?" Loki murmurs. "As I said, foolish." But he starts to heal Clint's wounds, starting with a knife slice on his shoulder. Natasha gives a sigh of relief, but then Clint jerks away.

"What are you doing to me? Natasha, who is he?"

"Clint, calm down," Natasha says. "Loki won't hurt you." Probably. "He's trying to heal you but your moving isn't making it easy."

Clint holds still for Loki to do his work, thank goodness, but he still asks, "Who is he, Natasha? How do you know him?" and his eyes are full of suspicion.

There is no easy, believable way to explain this so Natasha just jumps right in and says, "He's the Norse god of mischief, trickery and liars. He's been helping me since I was twelve." And stalking her and just visiting sporadically, but no need to go into that right now.

Clint makes a clear sound of disbelief.

"Silence, mortal," says Loki. "I am trying to heal a fairly complicated knife slash here and I don't need distractions." He frowns in concentration. "By the Norns, how did they even manage to do this? I am quite curious about their technique."

Clint winces in memory and Natasha glares at Loki. "You aren't exactly being sensitive here, Loki."

"You did not call upon me to be sensitive," Loki says as he seals the last wounds closed. "You called upon me to help. Now, how do you expect me to do that? What is your trouble?"

Natasha summarizes their situation as briefly as she can, and Loki's face is thoughtful when she is done.

"I can see two ways to resolve this, my dear," he says. "The first one is that I kill everyone in the city. That way, no one will be left to try to collect the bounty, and you will be safe."

Natasha sees Clint's face go pale out of the corner of her eyes, and she grits her teeth. Sometimes she forgets that Loki is not a mortal and does not think the way they do. He is a wild god. People call him a god of mischief now, but that is merely a tamer way of saying that he is a god of chaos. Things like human lives or human values mean little to him.

"I see you don't like that option," Loki notes cheerfully.

"Who are you?" Clint snarls.

"That's the third time you've said that," says Loki. "My other option is to transport both of you to safety. I assume this is the option you prefer?"

"Yes," Clint says immediately, without giving Natasha time to think it over. She really shouldn't need the time, she knows, but her early training means that she still has trouble choosing human life over all else. He continues, his brow furrowing, "How do you plan to do that? Got a helicopter?"

"My dear hawk," Loki says with a touch of annoyance. "You saw how I arrived. We will leave the same way."

Natasha blinks. She has seen Loki appear and vanish many times but she assumed it was a Norse god thing. She had never considered travelling the same way herself.

Loki heaves Clint to his feet abruptly. Still holding Clint's arm, he grabs Natasha's hand as well. "This requires physical contact," he explains. "Unless you want to risk accidentally being flung to Vanaheim as a result of disruption in the magical field."

"No," Natasha says deadpan. "We do not want that."

"Good," Loki says brightly. "Let's go." Then he stops. His eyes get a glint in them. "You should probably be unconscious too, actually."

Natasha narrows her eyes. "Loki, what are you…" And then she starts feeling ridiculously drowsy and realizes Loki will not be taking any dissent in the matter. That jerk.

/…/…/

When Loki hears his follower and her hawk stirring, he knows he is going to be in trouble. Of course, Loki is in trouble rather a lot. Being in trouble uses up approximately twenty-five percent of his time. But he has never been in trouble with a mortal before, particularly not one of his own followers, so this promises to be rather interesting.

The first one awake is the hawk. Not too surprising, seeing as Loki's charms, including the sleep charm he used on them, are more potent on his own followers because his magic knows them. In contrast, Loki's magic has only touched the hawk once before, when he healed him earlier, and is familiar with no more than the basics of his anatomy.

The hawk is bewildered as he blinks awake. He stares at the room around him, and then stares at Loki. "I thought you were a dream."

"You are not the first," Loki reassures him. "Most would prefer to think me a nightmare." Though most of those who wish to think that are either dwarves, Vanir or Jotuns, and Loki is not concerned with their opinions.

"Are you really a god?" The hawk says, only half awake still.

Loki says, "It's complicated."

It is at this point that Natasha's eyes open and she slowly sits up. Loki put her on the bed when he got in, leaving the hawk lying on the floor instead. It probably isn't good for the man's injuries, but most of them are already healed and comfort is reserved for ladies.

Natasha says, "Loki."

Loki smiles and says, "Natasha. You are awake."

Natasha says, "Loki. Where are we?" Her tone is steely. Good, the being-in-trouble part is going to start now.

He says, "You're in my bedroom, Natasha."

For a moment, the two spies are perfectly silent as they process the information. Barton is slightly puzzled and disturbed but the whole thing has been puzzling to him. Natasha is more confused than him, but she is the first to speak.

"Loki," she says calmly. "You live in Asgard."

He claps slowly and sarcastically. "That would be correct."

"Loki," Natasha says, and her voice is now beginning to crack. "You brought us to Asgard?!"

Loki is somewhat annoyed at how slowly his follower is absorbing information. Then again, it is her first time off-planet, so perhaps it can be excused. Still, he nods instead of speaking because he is honestly too annoyed to continue clarifying aloud.

"Where are we again?" the hawk says. He looks confused still, but at least he doesn't look as furious as Natasha is.

"You are in my home," Loki explains. "Of course, it is on a different planet than you were on before but I believe I can safely say that no one after that bounty will find you here."

He had needed to carry them for twelve hours through the branches of Yggdrasil to get here, since his teleportation only worked at short range and apparently Heimdall thought one favor was enough for the day. It was tiring, of course. But it is all worth it to see the look on Natasha's face. And the hawk's, of course, but that is secondary.

Natasha says, once she has recovered from the shock of being in a different realm than she blacked out in, "And why did you bring us here? We would be just as safe in SHIELD headquarters. Safer. And we'd actually be able to report."

"Well," Loki says. "I am not actually sure where the SHIELD headquarters are right now. Seeing as they're mostly contained in submarines and helicarriers, if I teleported to the wrong location we would end up drowning or falling to our deaths. And that would not be pleasant. In any case I have meant to show you Asgard for some time. I thought you might be interested in seeing a bit of my world, since I have seen so much of yours."

Natasha glares at him. "You did it just for fun, didn't you."

"Well," says Loki. "That is one way to put it." She can hardly be a follower of his if he doesn't occasionally play tricks on her, right? And he is doing them a favor, after all. They asked to be brought somewhere safe. How he chooses to fulfill their request is up to his own discretion.

His faithful follower who is now officially his follower because he has played a trick on her lets out a long sigh. "I should know better than to trust the god of mischief," she says.

"I did heal your hawk," Loki points out.

"True enough," Natasha admits. "…Thanks."

"Wait," says the hawk. "What hawk? I didn't know you had a hawk, Natasha." He's being somewhat stupid, but then he just woke up a few minutes ago, so Loki mentally excuses him. He may possibly have put the sleep charm on him with a little too much vigor.

"He's talking about you," Natasha says.

The hawk makes an annoyed expression. "Could you not do that? I'm not a hawk, and I don't belong to Natasha, so the name doesn't really fit me at all."

"Very well," Loki says. It is a nice name, but he is courteous enough to comply with the man's preferences. "Have I permission to call you Clint instead?"

"Um. Okay. Natasha, how does he know my name?"

"If you're going to ask questions about every little thing," Loki interrupts. "We will never get anywhere. And I had hoped to show you and Natasha around the palace before this visit was over. I am sure your partner can explain everything thoroughly…later."

He really does not like having to explain himself. Unless he's unveiling an evil plan. Then it's fun. Otherwise, it's completely dull and he does not feel the need to do it right now.

"All right," says the hawk (Clint), sounding slightly intimidated. Maybe Loki accidentally purred a little too threateningly on that last part. Maybe it wasn't completely accidental.

Natasha glares at him.

He ignores her.

"If you feel completely awakened, perhaps I can give you the tour now." The two stand up, and Loki's eyes widen. "Never mind. I fear I have been forgetful. The two of you look ridiculous as you are; you will have to bathe and change first."

Clint narrows his eyes. "What do you want us to wear, long green robes?"

He seems to be making fun of Loki's own clothing. Loki snorts. "I will find something more to your taste than what you are wearing now, rest assured. Unless blood and sweat is the new black and I just hadn't noticed."

They haven't changed since leaving Midgard, and probably not for a while before that. Healing does not take away bloodstains and the hawk looks completely horrible. Natasha a bit less so. But still.

Eventually he talks them into using his personal bath (his room is more like a suite) before going on a tour of the castle. After all, this is the first time he has shown Thor one of his followers in more than a century. He can't have them looking as disgraceful as this.

/…/…/

Natasha is annoyed. She is annoyed partially because her patron god of liars has kidnapped her from the planet, partially because this means her mission has been more or less postponed (and she can't even tell her superiors what's going on) and partially because of the clothes Loki has left with her to wear going around the castle.

The problem with them is that they are gorgeous. Natasha thought she was over pretty dresses when she became a spy as the age of about six, but it turns out that maybe that part of her never went away because she has been given a floor length green dress. It is probably going to be all kinds of impractical but instead of just putting her old clothes back on she finds herself slipping into it anyways and wondering why SHIELD uniforms aren't more like this.

Maybe Loki cast some sort of spell on it to make her want to put it on.

In any case, when she shows it to Clint a few minutes later, he has no complaints, so maybe she should wear dresses around him more often. He himself has been given a green robe with drapey sleeves. Natasha suspects Loki has done this out of spite.

"Why would anyone make this kind of clothing?" Her partner fumes. "You can't fight in it. And isn't that pretty much what Asgardians do? Or did the myths just get it all wrong?"

"The myths were accurate," Loki says, appearing out of nowhere. "But fashion is fashion. And I could fight in that just as well as in the ridiculous uniform you were wearing. Ugly thing."

"Does he always do that?" Clint asks.

"Do what?" Natasha asks in turn. "Insult everything Earth has ever invented or appear out of nowhere whenever he makes an entrance? The answer is yes to both."

"Oh, okay then," Clint says.

"Are you ready to meet my brother?" Loki asks. "While you prepared yourselves I went and told him that I wished to introduce you to him. He is curious, in a crude and elementary sort of way."

It is then that Natasha remembers that Loki doesn't just insult everything about Earth all the time. He insults everyone else too, only more behind their backs.

"I would be delighted to meet your brother," she says diplomatically. Inwardly she wonders if she is even wearing her dress correctly. It is gorgeous, but the buttons are so complicated. And one cannot meet the prince of a country-who incidentally is legendary throughout multiple realms and known as a god of thunder-wearing one's outfit incorrectly.

"Oh good," Loki chirps. Then he disappears again.

Ten seconds later he reappears grasping someone by the arm. The someone is a tall, blond man who somehow manages to be even more beautiful than Loki. He also looks rather mad and is shouting, "Brother, release me! You know I have forbidden you to teleport with me!"

"Hello," Natasha cuts in. "You must be Thor."

Thor pauses in his shouting and steps away from Loki, snatching his arm away as well. "Indeed I am. And you are…?"

"I am Natasha Romanoff, Loki's follower and skillful liar," she says with a smile. "It is good to meet you." She holds out her hand to shake.

Thor frowns, probably at the liar part, but he says, "And I am Thor Odinson, Loki's brother and prince of Asgard." He bows deeply and then kisses her hand.

Clint looks annoyed, so Natasha tries not to show that she feels flattered and instead merely puts her hand back at her side and says, "And this is my partner, Clint Barton. Or you may call him Hawkeye."

"Partner?" Thor looks at Loki. "So you are not courting this woman?"

"Ah, I mean my partner in my organization. We work together on missions," Natasha says hastily, before realizing that while Thor has misinterpreted her words, his assumption is actually quite accurate. "But I'm not dating Loki either, and I may possibly be dating Clint, so…yes."

"I have always said you have a way with words, my dear," says Loki with a smirk. Not helping.

"So your follower is a lady warrior," Thor says, sounding slightly disbelieving. He blinks a few times, and then chuckles. "I imagine Lady Sif would be very interested in meeting her. She has always wished more of her kind were warlike."

Natasha smiles as if Thor isn't just talking to Loki and completely ignoring her and says, "I would love to meet the Lady Sif, if it is possible."

"Of course," says Loki and he disappears.

Thor glares at the empty space where his brother was standing a minute ago. "It takes about five minutes to walk to the lady's room in the castle," he growls. "Why must my brother use magic when simple physical means would work?"

Clint suddenly grins. "You know," he says cheerfully. "I think I like you. This whole-vanishing-and-then-appearing-out-of-nowhere thing gets to me too. So not everyone in Asgard does that?"

"Certainly not," Thor says with dignity. "I have never teleported in my life. I am an honorable warrior."

"Really? So am I. I'm a spy, but I mostly do shooting and stuff. I bet we're really a lot alike," Clint says excitedly. Natasha thinks he might be faking a bit of the eager sincerity he is putting in his voice. Then again, maybe he really is that glad to find something familiar in a different realm.

"Perhaps," says Thor. "I know little of the people of your realm. But if you are an archer, come with me. I wish to see your shooting at our range."

"Okay," Clint says. "It's a deal. But wait; won't Loki wonder where we are?"

"The woman can tell him," Thor says dismissively. "We won't take long anyways."

The two men then walk off together, still talking, and Natasha is left alone in the hallway. She leans casually against a wall, waiting.

Loki appears with a firm grip on the arm of a tall, muscular woman. She is not as beautiful as Loki, Natasha thinks, but she is still very attractive, with a sort of warlike elegance. She wears her hair up but it still cascades halfway down her back. She is protesting nearly as loudly as Thor but stops when she sees Natasha.

"I am Natasha Romanoff," Natasha introduces herself. "Some call me the Black Widow. I am a warrior where I come from."

Sif half closes her eyes as she scrutinizes Natasha. Abruptly, she turns to Loki. "I thought you said you brought your follower, not your lover."

"How dare you?" Natasha hisses before Loki can respond. "Loki told me you fought hard for the distinction of being a warrior in this land, and you dare to disrespect me so for my gender."

"Yes, Sif, how very hypocritical," Loki puts in. "And how could I ever love a mortal? They have the life span of fleas. When I choose a woman, she will be a true blooded Aesir, and naught else."

And as always, Loki is Not Helping.

Sif actually looks a little abashed, but says, "Well, what was I supposed to think? You didn't tell me your follower was a woman. I didn't know you even had any woman followers."

"I told you about her when I first made contact," Loki says. "Of course, she was twelve at the time, but she still had red hair so you should have recognized her from my description."

"Ha!" Sif snorts. "You wanted me to make a fool of myself, Loki. But I care not. I will talk with this woman, for I am interested in the affairs of her world."

So Sif and Natasha both lean against a wall together and have a girl to girl talk while completely ignoring Loki.

It is marvelous.

/…/…/

A few hours later, when Loki is content that his follower has seen all he wishes her to see and has recovered in body and mind from her earlier troubles, he gathers her and her hawk and they set out to return to Midgard. This time he has no need to put a sleep charm on them, since he knows they will not protest at returning home as they would have protested going to Asgard in the first place.

He is not sure if the journey is easier or more difficult this way. True, he does not have to carry both the Midgardians on his back like a pack horse, but he also has to keep them out of danger. Travelling the branches of Yggdrasil is perilous, and no mortal could do it alone. He tells them of this so that Natasha won't try it later. Otherwise, he does not know what she would do. She is his follower, after all.

She is annoyed but after the first few times she gets attacked by monsters or almost falls into the void, she agrees that without his protection she would probably die. She is a warrior of her people, but her people do not have to deal with threats like these. Loki is an Aesir and a sorcerer, and he is better equipped.

He does not rush this time, and indeed he cannot rush. The mortals cannot travel as quickly as he can. It takes them a whole day to reach Midgard, and in the end they spend seven hours sleeping in turns so that the mortals do not succumb to exhaustion. It is a good idea for Loki as well. Even the air in this in-between realm puts pressure on him and his magic, and he has done much work today. He is more tired than he believes, and sleeps longer than the hawk, who laughs at him. He makes a mental note to curse the hawk with baldness as soon as he can pass it off as natural and not antagonize his follower.

They arrive in Midgard early the next day, and he teleports them all to a SHIELD base in the backstreets of New York.

Natasha gives him a baleful look and rebukes him, saying, "I thought you said you knew of no SHIELD bases not in helicarriers or submarines."

"I exaggerated," he admits easily. It is not like she believed him earlier anyways, but clearly she does not like being reminded of the trick he played.

She snorts. It's not elegant, but it is typical of her so he does not bring it up. Instead he says, "What do you think of Asgard, then?"

"It's beautiful," she says with a shrug of her shoulders. "But old fashioned. You still have tapestries up in the hallways, and wear long skirts, and have such old styled architecture. If you've developed interplanetary travel, shouldn't the rest of your civilization be more advanced?"

Loki purses his lips. "Well for one thing, I certainly do not wear long skirts. That is for women."

"You do wear long robes though," the hawk says. He clearly has not gotten over Loki's clothing choices for him. He is lucky that Loki gave him and Natasha less conspicuous clothing to wear now that they are back on Midgard. It is for Natasha's sake, of course.

Giving the hawk a look that shows that he does not need to be part of this conversation, Loki is about to give a cutting repartee when he stops. Actually he does want to ask the hawk something, so he is polite instead and says, "I do indeed, sometimes. Hawk, you spent a fair amount of time shooting with my brother. What did you think of him?"

The hawk grins. "So. First of all, call me Clint. As for Thor? He's a good guy. A bit rough around the edges, and he's big on the whole warrior thing, but cool. Like, if I ever get a chance to become some god's follower, I'm following him. Not you."

Of course the hawk would find an opportunity to insult him. Loki grins and bears it, and says, "You would be glad to follow him. Do you think he is prepared to be a king of Asgard?"

"Uh. King?" the hawk says, hesitant. "You guys still do that monarchy stuff? Okay, then. Isn't he a bit young for that?"

"He was around in ancient Scandinavia," Natasha says drily. "I don't think that could be an objection." She pauses. "He does act a little young, considering that."

"Well, it's not like he's gonna be king too soon, right?" the hawk asks. "He told me your dad's still in charge. Unless he's really old and dying."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Of course he's 'really old'. We all are. But he's not dying. For some reason, though, he's decided to crown Thor as soon as possible. I personally do not think this is a good idea."

"Well, yeah," the hawk says. "He's not the guy I'd want running my country. I mean, he's cool and I'd take his orders, but he acts a little wild. I think he'd probably just declare war on everyone or something."

"For a mortal not my follower," Loki muses. "You are a surprisingly good judge of character. I think the same. But it seems my father is determined to have Thor crowned in just a couple years. Unless, of course, something were to happen to show how immature and unprepared Thor is."

"Well then," the hawk says. "Good luck with that. C'mon, Natasha."

Natasha's eyes are narrowed. "You go ahead, Clint. I'll follow in a couple minutes. I need to tell my patron a few things."

The hawk beams. "You tell him, Natasha. Just make sure you follow in a sec."

He walks off, clearly eager to get away from Loki as soon as possible. Loki wonders why he is so disliked. Maybe the man thinks he intends to court Natasha like Sif assumed. He is certainly good looking enough. Then Natasha speaks and draws him out of his thoughts.

"I heard what you said," Natasha says. "You have some qualms about Thor, huh? You're scheming something."

Loki smiles in the most innocent way he knows. "Of course I am."

He teleports away before she can respond.

/.../.../

/.../.../

AN: I like writing Heimdall. The tension between him and Loki is very fun. I also like writing Clint, though I am not sure I pull it off.

Next chapter-See how the events of these two chapters change the events of the movie _Thor._


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